Blood, Drugs, and Some Other Things
by ZTheIncomplete
Summary: My SE one-shots and dabbles.
1. Soul's Dirty Little Secret?

Kid's jaw hit the floor, "S-s-soul? Where did you get that? And THAT much?" Soul was proudly holding a fairly large bag of a green plant substance. "A cool guy like me doesn't leak sources. Plus, it's not like it's legal, er..uhm, illegal?" Kid glared at his friend before rolling his eyes, "Is that why you are always so relaxed all the time? How does Maka not notice?" Soul just smiled and looked at Black Star who was just staring at the thing in his hand. "Dude…"

Kid looked up at Soul from the floor, a bit lost, as he opened the bag. "Are we really going to do this?" His eyes widened as he continued to stare at Soul. Soul waved his hand and shoved the bag back under his bed. "Not if you don't want to. Cool guys don't make people do stuff they don't want to do." He laid back on his bed and patted Kid's head. The young shinigami looked at his friend, "You're high aren't you?"

Black Star leapt onto the bed and pinned Soul down, "Are ya?" Soul started to chuckle and weakly tried to push the ninja off of him, "A little..a lot. I don't know anymore." He continued to chuckle softly while trying to remove Black Star from his person. "Soul, I can't believe you." Black Star looked honestly hurt that Soul would do something like this. Soul's eyes widened and he pulled Black Star into a tight hug, "I'm sorry man, I didn't know it would upset you! I'll stop for you, I promise! Don't hate me!"

Kid looked at the two male teenagers laying on the bed in a tight hug, one of which was crying…And people thought HE was gay. Black Star sat up away from Soul and patted his friend on the head before sniffling a bit and crawling off the bed. "We can't be friends anymore. I can't be friends with you." Soul continued to weep, looking completely pitiful to Kid. "You didn't even SHARE!"

Soul stopped crying. Soul stopped moving. Soul just glared at Black Star. For some reason, Kid pressed himself as close the floor as possible. Good thing he did because Soul shot off the bed like a rocket. Soon the two best friends were wrestling and biting and punching. Kid didn't understand, they were just making out(or close to it) on Soul's bed and now they were killing each other? At least Maka wasn't there.

"Hi Kid. Uh, what are they doing?"

Fuck.


	2. Ugh, Needles

"But Soul!" Maka grabbed his arm and drug him to the counter. "If I am going to do it, so are you!" She handed him his ID card and pointed to the nurse sitting behind the counter, "Just give it to her and she will do the rest." She skipped over to the desk and handed the woman her ID who looked over it while typing something in. "Alright Ms. Albarn, please go over there and we will take your iron levels."

Soul, slowly, followed suit. She looked over his information and handed it back. "This is your first time Mr. Evans?" He nodded, "It's Soul and I'm only doing this because she's making me." He watched as Maka got her finger pricked, she winced and so did he. He had come to support her, help her get home, not get a needle stabbed into his arm. He hated needles but she was making him do it.

"Why are you so scared of needles? You've been cut by a SWORD and those don't scare you. Why do NEEDLES scare you?" She taunted him as he waited to be pricked. Since she had already donated blood before, it was a much faster process for her while it was taking him longer. Soul just rolled his eyes and watched as she relaxed on the table. The nurse tapped his arm, "Mkay, you are just going to feel a little prick, it will hurt but not for long."

Soul decided she was much to happy for this. Slowly, he held out his hand for his finger to be pricked. He tried to flinch away when she pricked it. "Good, okay while we wait for the results, we need you to answer some questions." He just nodded and walked over to the little computer booth thing that would ask him insanely private things like had he had sex or done drugs or various other things. Maka leaned over and told him that she was done and that she was going to wait outside for him.

His finger paused before touching the no button on the screen. Soul leaned over and waved to one of the nurses, "Oi, I can't give blood. I just remembered." The nurse chuckled, "It's fine, we wouldn't have let you." She handed him his papers and he got up to find Maka.

xox

Maka growled looking up at her weapon, "Chicken." He just smiled, "I can't give. Black blood." Her eyes widened, "I forgot. Sorry Soul." He held out his hand to help her up, "It's cool, my iron was too low." Maka just turned to look at him, "How does a scythe not have enough iron?" He just shrugged .

So much for giving blood.


	3. Music Frees The Soul

**So I HAD to do this. It's the shuffle thing. I have a Zune so yeah. Yay for Microsoft stoof. I love my Zune dude. Its huge and heavy and like..insanely durable. Anyways what you do is pick a couple you like and then shuffle your music thing and use the first ten songs to write something about them. I am a MAJOR SoMa lover. So yeah, :D Mkay Here goes nothing:**

**Closer-Nine Inch Nails**

Maka shivered as Soul licked her neck, his warm breath on her neck. "Fuck me." She turned to look at him and he just looked at her, eyes glazed over with lust. She was about to reply when he slid his hand up her shirt, groping her roughly. "Now." And with that she was forced onto her bed and he pulled off her clothes.

Soul loomed over her, smiling to himself as he looked at her. Poor thing looked scared. He would be gentle, for a few seconds. It was her fault. She teased him all the time. Wearing that skirt, crawling over him to do things. Today, today he couldn't take it anymore. He had to have her. He had to make her his. Of course he would stop if she wanted but she didn't look like she wanted to stop.

He growled into her ear, causing her to tremble a bit more. "Stop me now or let me penetrate you." It sounded labored and rough, coated with sex and restraint. She made the fatal mistake of licking his ear. If she could walk the next day she would be lucky. Actually, if they got out of bed the next day they would be lucky.

**Don't Stop Believing-Journey**

She stepped off the train, feeling the cold breeze brush along her skin. She sat her bags down before looking around her. There he was. He had just stepped of another train but there he was. He had snow white hair and ruby red eyes. Their eyes met and they smiled. Someone called his name and he turned, never looking back.

Years later the same green eyes girl sat in the bar, the smell of wine and cheap perfume wafted up to her nose. The light on the stage flickered on, and he stepped out. Her green eyes grew wide, that white hair, those red eyes. It was him. He took the microphone and belted out some blues song she soon forgot. He looked at her and smiled.

Later that night, she sat outside the club, waiting for him. Under the streetlight she saw him. He slid his arms around her and she felt like she had known this before. "Hold on to that feeling." He whispered into her ear once more.

Green eyes fluttered awake. It was just a dream.

**Flash-Queen**

Soul jumped onto the table, throwing his arms up into the air. "The Mighty Soul Eater is here! I've come to save your pants and grand puppies!" He promptly tackled Black Star. Maka watched as the two boys rolled around on the floor and she snorted. It couldn't get much gayer than it already was. They were wearing tight pants and capes, pretending to be superheroes, or in Black Star's case, super villains.

Soul sat up and yelled in triumph, this would be the last time Maka let them drink energy drinks of any kind.

**Sorry-Buckcherry**

"I'm sorry." That was the first thing Maka heard when Soul opened the door. He wouldn't look at her but he moved next to her. "I'm sorry I said that. You don't have to forgive me but just know I'm sorry." She turned away from him, fighting back tears.

"I know it's my fault. I didn't mean it. I promise. I'm sorry." He heard her begin to cry and he cringed. He hated her tears. He loved everything about her but how she cried. Soul wanted to do something about it but he knew she wouldn't want him to touch her.

"Please. We've been through a lot. Worse than this." He slid his arm around her and she looked up at him. Very softly, she choked out, "I'm sorry."

**Dick In A Box-The Lonely Island**

Black Star had dared him to do it. Triple. Dog. Dared. him to do it.

The little group sat around opening presents, Black Star kept nudging Maka and pointing to Soul. Soul sat on the couch with a box in his lap. He hoped, prayed that Maka wouldn't try to open it. Just shrug it off or maybe not even see it. Suddenly, Maka stood up and opened the door to see Spirit. The red head looked dead at Soul then at the box in his lap. "WHAT DID YOU GET MY DAUGHTER! IT BETTER NOT BE SOMETHING NASTY!"

Spirit grabbed the box in Soul's lap and tore it open. Needless to say, all hell broke loose.

**Simple and Clean-Utada Hikaru**

Soul traced his finger up her arm and smiled to himself. He had everything he needed right there in front of him. Reflecting on that thought, he sighed, but she always wanted to give him more. She just didn't understand that simply she was all he needed.

He had been so busy lately he felt like he was ignoring her. Apparently, she felt the same way. She had come up to him and asked if she needed to prove her love to him. He just sighed, "Why don't you understand, you're all I need." She just scoffed and kissed him.

That night he begged her to come over just so they could spend some time together. They didn't really talk, they just laid there and held the other. It was a simple feeling with no dirty thoughts attached to it. This was all he needed and with this he knew things would be better, even if they would be different.

**Do You Like Waffles?!**

"Hey Soul?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like waffles?"

"Yeah."

And with that, she threw one at his face.

**Magic Carpet Ride-Steppenwolf**

Maka couldn't understand how Soul could listen to his music so loudly. She couldn't hear herself think in her room and he was shut up in his room blaring some upbeat rock song. She could faintly hear him strumming his guitar to the song being played. Then it stopped. The music. The guitar. Everything.

He burst into her room and grabbed her arm before dragging her into his room. He sat down on the bed and patted next to it before moving his guitar to the floor. "Come with me." He held out his hand and Maka, very confused, took it and sat next to him.

Then he turned up the music once more and her eyes widened. She liked this song. She slowly swayed to it and he grinned like a psycho. Finally he found a song that wasn't some trance techno or whatever the fuck it was that she liked. Now, to introduce her to even MORE good music.

**Iris-Goo Goo Dolls**

He ran his hand over the words on the cold stone. He had been there all night but he didn't want to go home yet. He just wanted to touch her again, breath in her scent, he tried not to miss her but he couldn't help it. His phone rang but he ignored it, still tracing the name. He didn't want them to see him.

Red eyes traced the name after tan fingers did. He could feel the tears but he couldn't cry. It felt so surreal, so fake, so much like something out of a movie. He sighed once more before sitting up, his chest and legs wet and cold.

'Maka Evans-Loving wife and daughter'

He'd give up forever just to touch her one more time. He hoped she could feel him, wherever she was.

**Hot Steppa-Ini Kamoze**

Her eyes widened as Soul came out of room. He was dressed in low slung jeans--She could see his boxers-- and a tight muscle shirt. He had on big orange sun glasses and a large necklace with a big blingtastic S on it. He looked completely redonkulous. He wasn't worthy of a real word.

"What the hell Soul!" She yelled, throwing her hands up into the air. He just chuckled and threw a piece of paper at her. She slowly opened it, 'Spirit Week-Monday, Gangster Day' She just raised an eye at him and smiled, "Fine. I'll be back in a minute."

Soon she came out clad in her most 'gangster' outfit. He hit his head on the wall and turned to smile at her, "Still love you like that."

"You betta bitch."

**Apparently my zune is a perv. I cheated and skipped a song because Sex and Candy was the second one and I could NOT write another sex one. And I couldn't think of anything NOT sex for that one. ANYWAYS, this is very OOC and I'm sorry. Oh yeah, Iris made me cry while I was typing it. It was gonna be a bit different but I decided to change it. Do you like Waffles is my favorite..:D**


	4. The Story Part 1

.:The Handshake:.

Her delicate gloved hand slid into his long fingered hand, "Maka Albarn, Meister." She gripped it a bit firmer than he had expected, "Soul Eater, Demon Scythe." Her eyes practically danced when he stated what he was. "Let's be partners, you intrigue me." And from that day on, the two were practically attached to the other's hip.

.:The Feeling:.

Her eyes traced his face, watching him breath softly. He had done it for her. He had thrown himself in front of that sword for her. Her chest trembled as she sighed, what was this feeling she was having? Regret? Fear? No, it was sweeter. Love? No, it wasn't that strong, not yet. It was then she decided, she liked him. She liked him because he was stupid and reckless and her knight in not so shining armor.

.:The Jealousy:.

Her giggle called his attention and his toes curled as he fought back that feeling. She was too busy playing with that other boy's hair to notice his red eyes glaring at her. She would never notice how he growled every time she informed him she was going on a date. However she would notice him the day he walked through their door with that other girl attached to his lips. Of course, neither of them would notice the other's jealousy, not yet anyways.

.:The Surprise:.

Her nose tingled as he moved away. Had he just done that? Had he just kissed her nose? She squeezed her eyes shut and giggled as he kissed her eyelid. His warm, slightly chapped lips kept pressing into random places on her face, even under her lip. She put her hands on his face, holding him still and kissed him on the lips. He wasn't surprised, she always took the lead in things, even their relationship.

.:The Question.:

He shifted uneasily next to the older man. "So Soul, what did you want to ask me?" Spirit looked to the younger Death Scythe who had called him there but had yet to look at him. "Can I," the white-haired man took a deep breath, "marrymaka." He ducked and covered his head, expecting to be hit but was only treated with the other's soft chuckle, "Do you truly love her?" Soul just nodded, "Yeah." Spirit patted his back, making him flinch again, "Be the man I never was."

.:The Mistake?:.

She shifted next to him on the bed, unsure of how to tell him. It was sort of her fault, she didn't tell him she forgot her medicine that day. It was all a mistake, she'd understand if he was upset. "Um, Soul?" She turned to look at him. "Yes my queen?" he purred in her ear, nuzzling her neck. "I'm pregnant." He stopped nuzzling her and she grew scared, what if he didn't want it? His hand found hers and she felt him squeeze it. "Cool."


	5. The Story Part 2

**So yeah, I REALLY wanted to write this so here it is! I'll update my other stories this weekend I guess. I GRADUATE soon :D**

.:The Fire:.

Her curses didn't hurt him. Even though she told him to go to Hell and that he should die and it was HIS fault, he just waited it out, holding her hand. Her green eyes met his and she snapped at him, something about getting that damn smile off his face, but he just laughed. "Alright Mrs. Evans, your son is making his debut." The fire in her eyes switched to fright and want all at once as the doctor lifted the blond haired baby up for the parents to see.

.:The Word:.

Her tears were of joy. "Momma." The little boy proudly spouted again, seeing his mother smile. "Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma!" He chanted as she giggled. His father leaned against the doorway, amused and slightly upset that he wasn't chanted Dadda but what could Soul do? He had been gone for a few months, he was surprised the child even knew who he was. It was okay though, he'd say it some day, right?

.:The Scrape:.

His red eyes scrunched up as he fought back tears. He wasn't going to be a baby, he was going to be strong like daddy. Tamashii looked at his bike and growled at it but his daddy just lifted him up. "Come on, let's go get that cleaned then we will try the bike again, okay?" He snuggled into his father's chest and a single tear ran down his face. What? It hurt.

.:The First Day:.

Her hands twitched as she held her son's hand. "Okay Tama, it's time for school." She managed to choke out while Soul rubbed her back. The pair stood in front of the kindergarten and watched as their son ran to meet his friends. Kid and Black Star's children were also going to start school today. The adults hoped it would help their small children with this new environment.

.:The Discovery:.

"Hey Dad?" Soul looked up from the movie he was watching, a bit confused and bored. "Watch." Tama's arm turned into a blade then back again. The boy laughed when his father jumped off the couch and hugged him. "Not cool Dad." His father leaned back and looked at him, "You are way to much like me for your own good." "I try." Came the ten year old's response.

.:The First Night:.

Her giggle cut through the silence as he bit into her shoulder, "Geez Soul, he's only been gone a day!" The man on top of her just growled and continued to kiss and nip at her. "It's been way too long." She pressed herself against him, "Okay, we're celebrating our son getting into Shibusen." Soul just mumbled in agreement as he attacked her chest.

.:The Father's Worst Nightmare:.

Her yelp startled the sleeping neighbors. "What the fuck are you two doing?!" The blond haired boy jumped up, shielding the Nakatsukasa heiress from his father, "What does it look like?" The two pairs of crimson red eyes locked, "Why the HELL are you playing DDR in MY house?" Tama just laughed and waved his dad away before continuing to tap the flying arrows in rapid succession.

**Uh, so yeah, Tamashii means Soul or Spirit. He's named after his DAD and Grandpa XD**


	6. Freaky MondayPart 1?

Notice:

If you would like to read this story, it is now under Flameus' account.


	7. The Story Part 3

**UNRELATED NOTE: I am NO longer doing 'Freaky Monday' :D I gave the idea to Flameus because I didn't want to do it. I have too many other stories to work on. If you're wondering what I have coming for this, I can give you some hints! The stories are called 'This Is Halloween', 'Dog Daze', and 'Oh, Brother!' Might not do the Oh, Brother! one, dunno yet. ON to the story!**

.:The Pride:.

Their eyes glazed over, attempting to hide more tears. Their son stood before them, his hand laced in his partner's as he slowly swallowed the witch's soul. Soul momentarily whipped away a tear, muttering 'not cool' before returning his gaze to the newest Death Scythe. Tama grinned widely before kissing his partner. To Spirit, this looked oddly disturbing.

.:The News:.

Her hand was laced with his when they announced their marriage. Soul hugged his son and warned him to be wearing the thickest armor possible when they told Black Star. Maka was crying to hard to say anything really when said ninja flung open the door. "H-h-hey..Dad?" Soul face-palmed, his son was stupider than he was.

.:The Scar:.

His red eyes darkened as the creature cackled wickedly. His beloved lay in his arms, not dead but barely alive. He cursed the creature before dragging her off, somewhere safe. He did what he could for it and hoped he could get to the hospital soon enough. The next morning, he gently lifted up her shirt and snorted. _Idiot, now we match._

.:The Gift:.

Her voice broke as she attempted to tell them the news. "I-I-I-I-" Her mother-in-law cut her off, "I know. I can see souls, remember?" Star Flower bowed her head in thanks. Soul looked at his wife, lost, "What?" She merely smiled, "There are five souls in this room." His mouth curved into an 'O' before he smacked his son's back, grinning furiously. Somehow, Tama wasn't comforted by this.

.:The Anniversary:.

His hands slid effortlessly around her neck as he put the golden necklace on. He couldn't help but kiss her gently as she leaned back against him. "Thirty years?" He mumbled into her soft flesh as she nodded. "I can't believe we've been partners for thirty years." Soul nuzzled into Maka's hair, "Been married for twenty, too." She giggled as he spun her towards him, "Dance?" She only hummed in agreement.

.:The End?:.

Her eyes locked with the golden ones of her higher-up. Kid patted her shoulder as a tear rolled down her cheek, "It's okay Maka. Just do something else. Being busy will fill the hole." Her lips trembled before she looked up at him, "I don't want to forget though." He smiled and ruffled her hair, "You won't." Someone snorted in the doorway, "Who knew she'd take retirement so hard?"

.:The Silver:.

His hand ran through her once blond hair, "We match even more now." She sniffled and rested her head against his once-muscular chest. Long gone were the fighting days. Long gone were days romping with friends. Long gone was their youth. "Stupidsoul'shairnevergotgray." Her voice was muffled by said hair as she snuggled deeper into him. Long gone were their oh-so-steamy nights. Eh, that was okay though. As long as he was there.

.:The Loneliness:.

Her frail fingers traced over his name. He had left without her. He said he would always be there for her. She didn't even try to fight back her tears, she was too old for that. She felt a hand slide over her shoulder and was greeted with a shark smile. "Come on Momma, you need to come home." She took her son's hand and kiss the top of the name softly. He was waiting for her, she knew that but she also knew he wanted her to take her time. With a smile, she bottled her loneliness and cast it into an ocean of hope. Somewhere, an albino shark would devour it.

.:The Light:.

His hand reached out for her and she gladly took it. His ruby eyes met her olive ones once more as he pulled her towards him. "Oi, Maka, dance with me?" It was the first time he had ever offered and she took it. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into two black pig tails, her smooth cheeks caressing his jaw line. Soul snorted and Maka looked up at him, eyes darkening. "Look Angel-chan." He pointed and she turned her head to see two fluffy angel wings. And with that, they waltzed into the light.

**And with that, it ends the story! To clear some things up, Star Flower because I couldn't think of a proper name for her and the albino shark thing is a metaphor. There is no albino shark that's going to eat Maka's loneliness. Gah the last part killed me to write. I wasn't sure how too. And I never saw Maka's eyes as emeralds. They look more olive to me :D The Angel bit was just because Soul calls her Angel-Chan in the manga and I liked it so nya. ALSO, taking song requests for the next chapter. Since it's taking me a decade to dish out anything and song fics are easy for me. I will also do ANY pairing for the song :D **


	8. My Blood Is Black

**AN: This sucks, don't read it. Really, don't read it.**

_I'm sorry._

It was all she could think or say as she traced his name. It's my fault. I should have tried harder to stop you. A hand gripped her shoulder, gripping it firmly. "Come home." She merely shook her head, continuing to trace the name slowly. The hand on her shoulder pulled her up, "Yes. It isn't good for you to be out like this."

"Papa, how'd he die?" The last word was strangled but she was sure her father knew what she meant. Maka felt her father kneel down next to her, placing his hand on the headstone. The hand on her shoulder tightened for a moment before sliding down her arm.

"We couldn't get him to eat." Spirit drummed his fingers lightly on the grave, as if trying to recall what had happened. He turned to his daughter and pressed her head against his chest. She was crying again. It had been so many years, and she still cried over this boy. "I'm sorry," Maka sniffled and looked up at her father, clearly confused. "I didn't want to help him." He prayed that she would understand.

_**Several Years Ago**_

Maka glanced over at her partner, grinning as he actually took notes. He seemed to be getting more and more serious about his grades lately. Her grin quickly turned into a frown when he snapped his pencil in half. Soul giggled a little bit before grinning at her. He beckoned for her to come closer to her, as if to tell her a secret. On a normal day, she would have hit him but he was being weird and she wanted to know why.

"Guess what?" He giggled softly before continuing, "My blood is black."

At first she thought he was messing with her. It wasn't until he stood up and made his way down the steps that she realized he wasn't. Soul looked determined. The class froze as he _grabbed_ Stein's arm, giggling madly. "Soul!" The tech fought her way down to her partner only to see him be shoved away. "Soul, stop it!"

Soul glanced at her and pouted, "You're so boring. Huh, Stein?" He made his way over to their teacher again and grabbed his jacket, clinging to him. "My blood is black." The boy rubbed his face against Stein's chest, seeming utterly distraught with the fact. Stein, feeling a touch paternal, patted the boy's back before hearing a giggle.

Maka could only watch in horror as her best friend skewered their teacher, Stein falling to the floor while Soul giggled insanely. She tensed when his red eyes locked on her, scanning her as if she was prey. "Soul, please stop this." He grinned, razor sharp teeth glittering as he made his way toward her.

"Oh Angel-chan," Soul stepped around her, his finger tracing her face lightly, "My blood is black." He began giggling again. Maka had never been more terrified, well that's what she thought until he pressed his lips against her ear. "You were looking at him. _**I**___am the only one you are allowed to look at."

It was then she realized she was alone, the rest of the class had either left or hid. _Please, someone help me. _Maka wasn't one to pray but she was then. She really didn't know what else to do. Lucky for her, the next thing she could recall was being in the hospital.

_**Present**_

"Papa, what happened, after I passed out?"

"We managed to sedate him and chain him up. You know what happened after that."

"Papa?"

"Yes?"

"I miss him."

"I know."

Sadly, he understood what it was like to watch your best friend lose their mind.


	9. Soul's Baby?

**AN: 1. It's seven in the morning. 2. All of this was because I saw my nephew for the first time in five months today. He said my name. It was awesome. Mhm.**

It had been a long day. A long day. Maka really just wanted to flop down onto the couch and stare blindly at the tv. It seemed to relax Soul after all, so it should work with her, right? Something seemed off when she neared the door to their tiny apartment. First off, Soul was laughing insanely. Secondly, Maka could hear a woman laughing as well.

She took a deep breath and shoved open the door. What she saw was honestly the last thing she ever expected to see. Absolutely the last. Soul being gay would make more sense than this scene. Well maybe not but was sure how it seemed.

Soul was laying on the couch with a white-haired baby perched on his chest, both of them giggling madly while a blonde haired woman looked on, a grin plastered on her face. The weapon didn't even look up at his meister, he just continued playing with baby.

"Maka~" Soul crooned happily, still messing with the baby's hands, clapping them together. Maka cocked an eyebrow at Soul, standing in the doorway. "Come play wiff us." Baby talk? Soul was using baby talk? Okay, now she was really confused.

Maka slowly made her way over to the other end of the couch, toward Soul's head. The lady stood up and curtsied to Maka, who returned the greeting awkwardly. "I'm Francesca." Her accent was odd, defiantly not American though.

"I'm Maka." She chirped, continuing to watch Soul play with the baby. She had never seen her partner give a second glace to a kid let alone play with one. On very few occasions, he would help Angela do something but it was never playing. "Um, who are you?"

The woman sat up and Soul looked up at his meister, "This is my sister-in-law and this is my nephew." He held up the baby, grinning. "I meant to tell you they were coming over today." Soul wiggled the baby a bit before setting it back on his chest, "Say Hi to Aunt Maka~" The baby just giggled.

Wait…

Aunt..Maka?

**AN: I totally want to rewrite this. Also, Soul seems like the kind of guy who adores kids he just is awkward around them. Also, Wes seems like the kind of guy who would marry a foreign model. XD**


	10. Bets

Soul wasn't sure where he was or what he was doing. All he knew was he didn't plan on leaving or stopping anytime soon. He was probably drunk or something, Black Star had probably slipped something into his drink but he really didn't care. He didn't care that he may or may not be losing his bet with Maka. Nope, he didn't care at all.

"Holy shit dude!" Black Star jumped up from the table he was at, pointing to a pair dancing, "Did they just start making out?" Tsubaki drug him back to his seat before slapping him, not very hard but hard enough to receive a pitiful look from the boy.

"No, they've been making out for a minute or so now. Ever since this song started." Kid twitched, they could at least be doing it symmetrically but no, they weren't.

Liz snorted before leaning back, "I told her that outfit would get attention. I didn't quite expect it to be _his _though." She took a swig of beer before continuing, "Did anyone see either of them drink anything?"

"Soul drank like two beers. He's not drunk, I've seen him drink WAY more than that."

"Maka doesn't drink."

"Then how the hell-"

Soul pulled Maka closer to him, loving the feel of her body against his. Apparently, she loved it too because she pressed herself closer to him. Soul wanted to turn her around so her chest was pressed to his but having her ass pressed against his groin was just too nice. He was pretty sure she could _feel _how much he liked it but she didn't seem to care.

Maka grabbed a fistful of Soul's snowy hair and jerked his head around so he was looking at her. "Kiss me again." Their lips met roughly before Soul shoved his tongue into her mouth. Normally, Maka would have kicked him or chopped him or something but she returned the favor. Their tongues battled for a moment before Soul broke the kiss and started kissing and nipping her neck.

The pair soon broke a part and Soul drug her back to the table, "I've got a cramp in my right arm and I'm thirsty." He explained when Maka tried to drag him back out onto the dance floor. She pouted at him before sliding into the booth after him.

Their friends just stared at them, "So, who won?" Black Star leaned across the table, his face a few inches from Soul's. "TELL ME."

Soul and Maka's eyes widened before they looked at each other. "Uh, shit." And with that, the two began tugging each other toward the door. The struggle to be the one doing the dragging continued all the way out the door.

"What bet?"

"Who could bring someone home first."

**AN: Uh, yeah. This wasn't as dirty as I intended it to be. I might do a 'That Night' chapter XD**


	11. Angelic

**AN: This really sucks. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it too. But yeah. This does contain some small spoilers for chapter 75. Slight ones. **

Soul slid on his pajama pants, this wasn't going to be cool at all. Beyond the dark wooden door of his old bathroom was his meister. He shook his still-wet hair before pushing the door open to face his ultimate doom. But he was greeted with a soft snoring. The weapon slid over to the side of the bed as softly as he could. He could only stand there and stare at his partner.

He thought she was cute. He even told her a time or two that he thought that. But she was beyond cute now. She was gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, he didn't know the word for it. Sprawled on his old bed's dark red sheets was his meister in a white nightgown. Her hair was spread around her head like a halo, her legs curled slightly as she rested on her side, one hand resting on her stomach while the other rested under her head.

Soul sank down on the bed behind her, reaching around her waist to hold her against him. Maka shifted around to look at him, a confused look on her sleepy face. Her weapon grunted and buried his face into her back. "You should wear that more often." Maka rolled over further and pushed him away from her.

"Don't play lovey now, there isn't anyone to convince." She made her way to the other side of the bed and curled up under the blankets. Soul grunted and wormed his way over to her. The blond ignored the kisses being placed between her shoulder blades. "What are you doing?"

"Convincing you." Soul mumbled as he nipped her shoulder blade. Maka snorted and crawled off the bed. "Maka," He pleaded softly, reaching out to grab her arm. The weapon could only watch as his partner made her way over to the window seat. She heard Soul inhale deeply, "Don't leave me."

Maka slowly turned to face him, he was still laying on the bed, clutching the blanket tightly. "If this is about earlier, I was playing. You should know that." Her green eyes narrowed as her weapon scoffed and rolled over on the bed.

"You know how I feel about Wes." Maka made her way back to the bed, curling up against Soul's back. He didn't acknowledge her, just continued to stare at the wall. Maka sighed and traced her finger over a scar on his shoulder. Soul shivered and pulled her hand away from his shoulder. "Don't touch," He paused, "Leave me alone. Go sleep with Wes or something. He's better than me."

Suddenly, Soul was pulled onto his back. He could only stare at Maka in disbelief as she crawled into his lap. Maka pressed her finger hard against the top of the scar on his chest, the one from Crona, "Would Wes have done this? I bet he wouldn't have. He might have thought about it but he wouldn't have done it. Not as quickly or as selflessly as you." Soul shrugged as she ran her fingertips over his newest chest scar, the one from Giriko, "Would he have done this? I bet he wouldn't have. I bet he wouldn't have been able to get up. I bet he wouldn't have Soul." Soul shrugged again, refusing to look at her. Maka grabbed his face and turned it toward her.

Soul reached his hand up to stroke her cheek, "Lay back down." Maka stared down at him, confused until he pulled her next to him, wrapping his arms around her. "You should wear that more often." Maka blinked up at him, "It makes you look like you have tits." Maka growled and whacked him on the head.

Soul rolled over with a smirk on his face, _It makes you sexy. Not that I could ever say that to your face. You're just too innocent, Angel-chan. _Ah, there was the word he was looking for earlier.

_Angelic._

**AN: So you aren't confused, they are at his(Soul) parents house. Maka and Wes pissed Soul off somehow, you can make up your own reasons. Soul and Maka are sleeping in the same room 'cause they are trying to convince his parents that they are together. Blah blah, you get the point.**


	12. A Through ZEr, W

**AN: This was supposed to be an alphabet thing but I couldn't do some of the words so..Tada! I think there are like 22 or something. Random pairings and stuff. A lot are Soul and Maka because I love them. Uhm, the last one is kinda crack. I ACTUALLY like that pairing but yeah. The first one is the one that made me do it all. P goes out to my little brother(He loves that song) and Maiden-Of-The-Moon over on DA cause her picture inspired it. Also, J is meant to have several different meanings. Read into it however you want. M, O, and A are my favorites :D That's all :D**

_**Art- **__Soul & Kid, SoulxMaka(If you squint)_

It was a lazy day, everyone was sprawled around Kid's living room, doing their own thing and enjoying the company of their friends. Patti was coloring a picture Black Star had drawn of himself. Tsubaki was chatting with Liz about hair styles. Black Star was tapping angrily on a game controller. Soul was leaning back against the couch and playing with Maka's hair while watching Black Star. Maka had her head in Soul's lap and she was reading some random book. Kid was slouched over the coffee table, drawing.

Soul grew bored with waiting for his turn to play and turned to Kid, "Whatcha drawing?" Kid looked up and held the tablet up. It was like looking at a picture. There Soul was with Maka's head resting in his lap. The weapon stared at his friend who only grinned back, "You two were the only ones being still. I'll try to get the others later."

_**Bandit- **__Soul & Maka_

Soul yawned and stretched, slowly waking up from his nap on the couch. Maka had woke him up coming through the door, not that he was angry. "I got us something." Soul scratched his head, staring at her. What _was_ in her arms? Little yellow eyes peeked out from his meister's arms. "Isn't he cute? I found him and I figured it would be okay, with Blair gone."

To her surprise, Soul held his hands out, taking the puppy from her. "His name is Bandit." The boy said before curling up on the couch, puppy under his arm. Soul yawned again and began to pet the puppy. Maka just watched him, opening her mouth to say something before being cut off. "He needed a cool name."

_**Cow- **__The Whole Gang(Ox's Gang included)_

"I don't like him that way!" Maka growled, tempted to jerk her foot away from Liz who was painting her toenails. It was nice to have a girls' night. Not having to worry about Soul making fun of her or Black Star busting into the room screaming. Just kicking back with the girls and being stupid.

Liz smacked her gum angrily when the phone rang, "Uh, Hello?" The look on her face twisted from confusion to anger as she stood up, muttering then slamming the phone down. "The boys are in jail. Apparently they went cow tipping and got caught." She grabbed her keys off the table before storming outside. The others quickly followed.

The six boys huddled in the back of the cell, staring at the much larger men who were giving them funny looks. The door swung open and said boys cringed further back into the wall. There stood seven very angry, very scary looking girls. "It's the bull's fault." Someone muttered as they walked toward a much scarier fate than jail.

_**Damn- **__SoulxMaka, Black Star & Kid_

Black Star was a ninja when he really wanted to be. Well he was all the time but he could live up to the name when he really wanted to. And as he watched his two best friends kiss, he really wanted to. He felt someone behind him and turned to see Kid. "Damn, Soul's going to suffocate her." The Mini-Shinigami hissed causing Black Star to chuckle then freeze. A pair of red eyes met blue for a second before going back to green.

"Looks like we've got an audience. Don't disappoint them."

_**Empire- **__Kid_

Kid reclined in his chair, staring at the mirror before him, watching one of his new students collect their first soul. His mouth twitched into a smile, recalling old memories from when he was young. Pale fingers touched a white stripe for a moment before sinking back into his lap. Things like unconnected lines seemed so trivial now. Days filled with basketball and bloodshed were long behind him. His friends had long parted from the world, leaving behind children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren for him to watch over. But this was what he was born to do. This was his. All of it.

_**Fuchsia- **__Tsubaki & Black Star_

Sunlight flittered through the curtains of the room as the sun broke the horizon. Tsubaki sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She was surprised to find Black Star not in his bed but not really. He could run on little to no sleep for days it seemed. A delicious scent filled her nose and she slid out of the room to the kitchen. Her meister was staring at a pan, shouting about he is going to make the most godly bacon ever. The scent of said 'godly bacon' burning met her nose and she shoved him aside to flip them over.

Black Star huffed and told her to sit down before handing her a card. 'Happy Mother's Day' was scrawled across it in Black Star's 'Neat' handwriting. Inside the card was,

"Thanks for being the mom I never had.

Love,

Black Star

P.S: I don't know where I'd be without you."

The girl grinned before pulling her meister into a hug. He handed her a flower, "Sorry it's not a camellia. This is all they had. It's a fush-something." Tsubaki grinned, it's the thought that counts.

_**Gnu-**__ Liz, Patti & Kid_

"Hippo!"

"Yes Patti, that IS a hippo."

"Lion!"

"Yes, Patti, that IS a lion."

"Gnu!"

"No Patti, that wildebeest is old."

"You're both stupid."

_**Hairball- **__Blair, Soul & Maka_

Soul could only watch in horror as Blair doubled over in his doorway coughing. "MAKA! Blair is DYING!" He flailed around under his covers trying to get to the cat lady. He ran up behind her and grabbed her, trying to perform the Heimlich Maneuver. Maka paused in the hallway, what the hell was Soul doing to Blair. "Uh, I guess I will leave you two alone then." She turned and went back into her room.

Soul blinked a few times just as Blair made a sick sounding 'Blech' noise. A wad of black fur lay in the middle of Soul's floor. "You had," He growled darkly, "A fucking hairball?"

_**Ignited- **__JackiexHarvar_

Neither spoke, they just watched the bonfire flicker in the warm summer heat. Jackie felt his arm slide around her shoulder and she leaned against him. Neither looked up and neither was sure if it was the fire or not but something was there. Warm heat radiating from the other. A little crackle of electricity to ignite the fire. And that's how it started, that's what they told their kids.

_**Juno- **__SoulxMaka & Spirit_

Soul curled around her, his arm making it's way over hers to grab her hand. She sniffled and pressed back against him. They lay there in the hospital bed, staring at nothing. Maka rolled over to look at Soul, "I wonder what he looked like. I wonder if I will ever see him again." Soul tucked her head under his chin, caressing her cheek. She clutched his shirt and started sobbing again. "I miss him."

She felt his chest shake for a moment before realizing he was crying as well. Soul's nose nuzzled against her head as she listened to him gasp every few seconds. Her own sobs beginning to soften when his did. The arms around her loosened and white hair came into view. His eyes were unusually red, "I miss him too."

Spirit stood in the doorway, watching the two teenagers comfort each other. The man turned and looked over to the death god, "Was it really necessary? Did you really have to take him from them?" The other just sat in silence.

_**Kraken- **__Soul, Kid, Black Star, & Maka_

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Maka threw her book at Soul, decking him in the head. The 'albino' boy grabbed his head and slung the guitar around his waist to his back before stalking over to her. He shoved her through the door before slamming it and locking it.

"Aww-right! Let's get this party started!" And with that, Death City's newest band, "The Kraken" began to play loudly. Much to the rest of the apartments displeasure.

_**Lemon- **__SoulxMaka, Kid, Black Star_

"Soul! Stop! It hurts!"Shut up and let me finish!"

"It hurts!"

"I'm sorry but please, just let me finish."

"Okay but I get to do- Gah!"

"That's better. My turn!"

Kid looked at Black Star who just stared at him. "Let's go back. Maybe we should call before we come over next time." The blue haired teen just nodded, running the other direction. Meanwhile, Soul was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching as his meister bandaged her bloody fingers. "Told you to let me cut the lemon."

_**Masticate- **__Soul and Maka_

"Hey Maka, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Soul, what's up?"

"Do you masticate?"

"W-What? No!"

"You don't chew?"

_**Nirvana- **__SoulxMaka_

Maka stood in the doorway, staring at her weapon who was sprawled on his bed listening to his music player. "Soul?" He didn't answer. "Soul!" Still nothing. Maka growled and jumped on top of him. His red eyes snapped open for a second before settling into their normal half-lidded state. "What?" Maka said something and he blinked. "What?" Maka's green eyes narrowed. "I-I..Nevermind." She tossed a cd next to him before running out of his room. Soul turned the cd over, it was one of his favorite bands. He sighed and ran after her, finding her in her room.

"I got you something too." She looked up at him, confused. He leaned down and kissed her. To his(and her) surprise, Maka leaned into the kiss happily. Soul quickly pulled back, face red, "S-Sorry, weird position." Maka just grinned, "It's okay. It was cool."

_**Open- **__Soul and Maka_

She couldn't help but snort, watching her partner sleeping on the couch. One of his long legs draped over the back of the couch, the other hanging off the side of the couch. His head rested on one arm while the other arm was thrown over the back of the couch. He looked so…right? Yep, everything about how he looked, looked just like him. Maka blinked, sitting on their other couch, still staring at Soul. Where had the stuck up rich boy she once knew go?

When they first met, Soul would sit straight, eat properly, talk properly, he was even polite. He seemed uncomfortable though. Like he was someone else. She bugged him about it for months but he never answered her questions, always opting to go to his room. Slowly, over the many years of their partnership, Soul opened up to her. The girl walked over to him, grabbed his leg(the one on the back of the couch), and dropped it across the arm of the chair. Red eyes blinked up at her, "Put on pants if you're going to _hang out _on the couch like that. I don't want to see you're junk."

Yes, _very_ open.

_**Piranha- **__SoulxMaka_

_Teeth, grip, razor sharp_

_Bites hi-power, tear you apart_

His lips pulled back into a twisted grin as he leaned over Maka. "Save me like you saved Crona?" Their eyes met before he bit down on her neck, licking at the black blood that ran out of the wound. She giggled as she dug her nails into his shoulders. The imp watched the writhing pair from his perch on the piano, grinning wickedly like his other half.

_You better not lose control_

_It pulls you under, it will take you whole _

_P-P-Piranha_

_**Qwerty- **__Soul, Maka, Black Star, Kid, Ox, Havar, Kilik, & Liz_

Maka stood over Soul's shoulder, watching him tap on the keyboard rapidly as his little character ran around on the screen. "Is this that fun? Who are all those people? Did you just KILL that thing? Why does your character look like you?" Maka babbled, totally ignored by Soul, or so she thought.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her around to sit between his legs. He slid his arms passed her and put his chin on his shoulder so he could see. Maka just stared at the screen, every once and a while hearing her partner growl softly. "Uh, whose the girl? She's really strong. I knew you guys all played together but I didn't know you had a girl with you."

Soul snorted, leaning his head to rest against hers, "It's Liz. She's pretty badass at this game." Maka just nodded slowly before asking if she could play.

_**Rip- **__SoulxMaka_

_Rrriiip. _"Damn it Bandit!" Maka screamed as said dog tugged a little harder, finishing his tear at her dress. "Soul! _Your _dog ripped my dress! Get him out of here!" Soul grumbled loudly, "Looks better now!"

_**Tub- **__SoulxMaka_

Maka let out a soft moan as she sank further into the water. Her partner raised an eyebrow before sinking further as well. "This was a good idea." He drawled out happily, the aches of the last few years easing out in the warm water. Maka nodded happily, stretching her feet to rest on the seat next to her partner. She failed to notice the pair of red eyes that were tracing up and down her legs.

"Such a good idea."

_**Weird- **__SoulxLiz_

Liz looked up at the young man sitting next to her. He hadn't so much as tried to put any kind of move on her and it was starting to get annoying. Isn't that why they were sitting at the top of the movie theater? So they could do stuff without being seen? She had to admit it was kind of weird being here with him like this. But they were getting more mature, so why shouldn't their relationships? Soul tilted his head a bit to the side, watching the screen intently. Liz tapped on his shoulder and he leaned down, still staring at the screen. "What?" He hissed softly. "Go home." Soul turned to Liz, mouth slightly open in confusion.

"This is too weird. I don't think I can think of you romantically." Much to her chagrin, he let out a contented sigh before stretching and getting out of his seat. Soul reached down to pull Liz out of her seat before turning and walking down the steps. Liz followed silently, trying to figure out just when he got taller than her.

"Let's get the others and go out for a burger or something. I'll pay, to make up for this. Mkay?"


	13. Author Notice

___**Author's Notice**_

**_Okay, I probably won't be posting anything anytime soon. My laptop's charger busted so I'm stuck using the computer in the apartment, which is fine and all but I can't use it a lot. Plus all of my documents were on the other computer. I had about a page of ATRM typed, all but three of the crack pairings and some other random little tidbits I was working on. _**

**_I'd use this computer to write but it's the little kids' computer and I don't want them accidentally opening up a dirty story or something. That'd suck. So until further notice, I doubt I will be updating any stories._**


	14. You Remind Me of the Babe

**AN: This all started because my two hour trip to the hospital ended up being 22 hours. Somehow I had this brainchild. It's sickeningly cute so Soul and BS are a BIT OOC in this but then again, children do strange things to people. Oh yeah, I got my laptop working...Everything should be updating in a week or so. I've got a funeral to go to but after that I have nothing to do so...**

**_You remind me of the babe_  
_(What babe?)_  
_Babe with the power_  
_(What power?)_  
_Power of Voodoo_  
_(Who do?)_  
_You do_  
_(Do what?)_  
_Remind me of the babe_  
**

The blonde meister fidgeted for the hundredth time that night. Her weapon friend sighed, "Please stop being so worried Maka, it's not like the boys haven't stayed home with the kids before." Tsubaki patted Maka's hand, trying to get her to calm down.

"Yeah, but not together. Don't you know what those morons do when they are around each other? It's like they jam each other's common sense or something. I want to go home. What if they lit the house on fire? Or taught Tama to say bad words?" She groaned and took a sip of her coffee.

See, Soul and Black*Star had some how convinced(forced) their wives to have a day without the kids, vowing to work together to keep their offspring happy, healthy, and safe. So Tsubaki, fully intending to enjoy some time away from her child(and mostly, her husband), drug Maka to go shopping. After a long day of perusing the mall, bookstore, and some random outlet stores, they decided to go to a café for a little dinner before heading home. Tsubaki figured they would relax over a soda and burger but Maka was making it difficult to relax.

"Fine, we can go home. Watch, they will be fine and you'll feel stupid." Tsubaki hissed, she just wanted to relax with her friend but no, that wasn't going to happen. Maka flinched but held firm to going home. She stood up and grabbed her purse and exited the café, Tsubaki following along behind her.

As they made their way up the driveway to Maka's house, the two woman noticed(with some horror) there was music blaring. Maka's teeth clinched and she gripped the purse in her hands tighter, "I am going to _slaughter _them both." Once stopped, both woman stomped toward the house.

The door swung open with a sick bang and the two women's jaws dropped. There stood their husbands happily dancing with their sons to some song on the radio. Soul was the first to notice his wife standing in the doorway, he had just completed a spin to find himself facing Maka. He froze then grinned then continued to dance, singing loudly with Black Star.

_What kind of magic spell to use_

_Slime and snails_

_Or puppy dog tails_

_Thunder or lightning_

_Then baby said..._

_Dance magic, dance_

_**AN: Mmm, David Bowie..ANYWAYS I got two of my favorite pairings here. SoMa and TsuBS :D Gah this is short but I liked it. Tsubaki is a **__little _**out of character I think but whatever. Reviews get cookies and hugs and squishy souls.**


	15. Nubbins and Nubblies

**Black Str**

**_Tsubaki_**

_Soul_

Maka

* * *

_"Nippies."_

**"Nubbins."**

_"Nubblies."_

**"Cherries."**

_"Titty toppers."_

**"Oh that's a good one. Uh, Nippeloons."**

_"Heh, Nippelos."_

**"Hooter handles."**

_"Suckle knuckles."_

"What are you two doing? And what is a suckle knuckle?"

_"C'mon Maka, I'll show you at home."_

**"So, Tsubaki, can I play with your nubbins tonight?"**

**_"Not if you keep calling them that."_**


	16. Shooting Your Partner 101

**LALALA AUTHOR'S NOTE  
****Just two short stories I wanted to write without making them long. Feel free to give me words to do these too. I hate the second one BTW. :D **

**Gun**

Maka thinks she should feel bad but she doesn't. Soul struggles underneath her but his fighting is fruitless. His arms are pinned to his side by her legs and she has one hand wrapped around his throat. Red eyes dart back and forth from his partner's green to the gun she's pointing at him. "Please Maka, you wouldn't shoot your partner, would you?" Maka cackles, "Sorry Soul." And with that she pulls the trigger. Red splatters across her face as she tosses her head back, laughing.

She hears a grunt and suddenly Soul is on top of _her._ He smirks and suddenly orange paint is unloaded on her as he unloads _his_ gun. That is the last time she plays paintball with him. Ever.

**Good Kid**

Maka shrugs open the door after a long day of book hunting. She turns to find Patti curled up against Soul on the couch and she feels her heartbreak. Liz looks up at her sleepily, "Hey Maka." The older sister doesn't seem to be phased by the couple on the couch. "Patti has been having nightmares. Usually she cuddles up with Kidd and they watch TV until she feels better…" Liz looks over at her sister then to Maka. "Now trying to watch TV in the living room makes her cry so I drug her over here. I figured you and Soul would be okay with it." Maka nods before looking at the pair again. Patti snuggles closer to Soul and he mutters something about toast and Liz snorts. "He's a good kid."


End file.
